You're still here somehow.
"If you want the rainbow, then jolly well put up with the rain."When I was reading the newspapers today, I was mumbling the contents to my mom and flipping on and on. Seriously, I didn't expect her to tell me that one of the latest news: death of the 4-year-old little girl, is actually the only daughter of this auntie who lives in our neighbourhood. Although I have seriously no idea who they were, but I feel kinda a pity and perturbed by this piece of depressing news. I know you must be thinking that I'm really nosy and that's really none of my business in any sense. But I could literally see and feel how vulnerable a life could be. Suddenly, it makes me look around me and start to reflect on things that I'd been taking for granted on. As compared to the past, I think I'm not as much of a spoilt brat already. Ever since my beloved Granny moved to my cousin's apartment which is totally so far away, I started to get used to having nobody to talk to and living in an almost-deserted house. But of course, it's not as dramatic as completely no contact with her. I do ring her up when I'm on my way home from school daily. The conversation can last up to really long, an hour or more. But still, I prefer talking to her face-to-face and holding her wrinkled and trembling pair of hands. I feel really blessed with her in my sight, she's almost like the most indispensable person in my life. Well, she's no longer living with me and every visit to my cousin's house is so damn precious for me. And it's really hard to make time out on weekly basis, no excuse seriously. Btw, I'd never experience loss of a close kin in my whole 16 years on Earth so I really can't empathise with those devastating feelings. Rest in peace, Little girl.
Overall, I realised how things have changed for me in my life, I somehow learnt something out of it. It's afterall a paradox you know. Sometimes when you have everything, you feel like you have nothing at all. This feeling is unexplainable, abit of no logic thinking. *Laugh
So, I guess it's time to cherish what I possess and love life. But first, loving myself will be the outmost important task for now. There are many things I still can't get over with, but life would still go on. Changes are inevitable whether you like them or not.
My eye candy.
// Inspirations you can get from tumblr:
We need to forgive ourselves for all the things we did, and for what we should have done. We can’t keep dwelling on the regrets of what should have happened; it’d kill us inside out.(via runawaytrain@tumblr) I want to make full use of the holidays. I want to leave this space, I want to stop facebooking and perhaps tumblr-ing too. I need a break from this world. Everything is somewhat killing me. I think I'm falling sick too. And what astounded me the most is my weight, I actually lost 3 full kilograms. I yearn to gain weight man! These are some of the dull happenings in my current life, how about you? I have alot of stuffs to tell you but I don't know how to start. I prepared alot to say but yet nothing came out. I wanted to say but I just could not get the right timing. Eventually, I remained silent and did not breathe a word about it. Perhaps girls are just capable of pondering too much, worrying too much and overreacting too much. Or maybe it's just me, catalogue of faults. Sometimes, wanting you happy is way more important than just wanting you. You know what I mean? I just couldn't help it, damn.... I know I'm wilful at times....
Learn in the harsh way.
// Life is fairly good.
In case you miss me.
Short and sweet.
